happiness.

actually written 4/13/10

I am strong enough to let go of things. It's a skill a lot like patience,
hard to receive but helpful in the end. I have so many things I wish I
could forget. I have the memories of many broken promises. But I hate
carrying the weight. It does me no good nor will it change what happened.
I want to be happy but it is so outside of my comfort zone. I am a goldfish.
I can "forget" what's happened but the twinge of pain will always be there.
I've lost so many friends over the years. Why? Was it really me or just fate?
All I know is I don't want to be that girl anymore. I want to be:
loved
appreciated
wanted
respected
I, as every other person, have so much potential. I feel being happy will
open up more possibilities. I've seen it happen before. I can't be left out
of everything. I won't be. I won't be that girl anymore. I'm strong. I'm me.

That will never change. Maybe it doesn't need to. I just need to accept it.